advice

Dealing with...social media jealousy

08:49

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Okay, I’m not the only person in the world to have a green eyed monster on my back. I know this. We all know this. And, we’re all guilty.
But, are we actually guilty? I mean, it’s a natural emotion. So why do we all feel so damn bad about it every time we feel jealous?
Recently I’ve noticed that I feel it perhaps a bit too much however. Strangely, it’s all towards people that I don’t even know.
We are the first generation of the digital age. We tweet, insta and post everything. We use our smartphones purely to narrate and show off. A simple cinema trip has turned into a Facebook check in, an Instagram of a Tango Iced Blast, a 100 second Snapchat story and a brief review in a tweet.
As a result we’ve created a whole new word just to define it. FOMO. Fear. Of. Missing. Out. Anxiety and jealousy triggered by social media posts. The unbearable thought of somebody having, or doing, something that you aren't.
I admit it.
I get jealous when I scroll down Instagram and see a photo of pancakes without a shadow.
Or, a new MAC lipstick.
Or, a shot from an airplane window.
(If you have Instagram then you’ll know that it’s almost impossible to avoid these.)
I get jealous when somebody uploads a killer selfie, wearing the dress that I wanted but didn’t have the confidence to pull off. Or if somebody is being shown online signs of affection.
It gets worse around this time of year, when people are at festivals or on holiday and I am here.
I have spent the past two months working full time in a restaurant, trying to squeeze in some freelance work, trying to cut out carbs and trying to get six hours sleep at night.
Am I bitter? Am I unappreciative? Or is this perfectly normal?
I have my health, I have a summer job, I have my place at university to return to in September. Heck, I have a wardrobe of clothes, make up, shoes. I have a family. Friends. My cat. A Netflix subscription. I have strong ideas of what I want from the future and evidence that I have worked for it.
Why do I feel so down in the dumps and jealous? Why do I keep picking up my phone to torture myself further with heartbroken ‘likes’.
Though the strange thing is, we don’t look at it the other way.
We don’t know the full story of anybody we are jealous of. We know their username and their filter.
Similarly, we don’t know who is feeling jealousy towards us. Chances are, somebody is. Honestly, that's probably our biggest motive of updating social media. To boast?
Because we all have something that somebody else hasn’t got.
Like we can’t experience happiness without sadness, perhaps we can’t feel appreciative without jealousy.
Though let’s vow next time to perhaps try these out?

How to kick social media jealousy in the ass
1.       Make a list of all the great things you have. Yes, actually use a pen.
2.       Make a list of all the great qualities and achievements that you have. Tell yourself these.
3.       Compliment people, even if you are jealous, play nice. Be joyous, you’d expect the same back, and you’ll feel better for doing so.
4.       Give it ten minutes. Ever get that overwhelming surge of jealousy? Take ten, distract yourself, let it pass. It isn’t the end of the world.
5.       Take more than ten, take a day or a week without social media. Do something fun, and then TALK about it to somebody without posting it up.
6.       Wonder why you’re jealous in the first place, get your mind straight and it’ll work better for you.
7.       Stop thinking of them, and start thinking of you. Jealous of an opportunity? Seek one for yourself. Jealous of a selfie? Try out a new hair do.
8.       Try not to worry about the people you don’t know, focus on those that you do. Talk to them.
9.       Don’t actively seek jealousy to annoy yourself. Ignore posts, and try not to stalk.
10.   Remember, social media is not real life. Every coin has two sides.

You are more than your artisan coffee.




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